Somewhat unbelievably, I hate cycling right now. Hate it. Really I do. Lifeless, I have zero motivation to climb on a bike. Maybe it’s the wet January weather or perhaps it’s the fact I’m lazy. Either way, I do not comprehend this feeling. It does not compute.
I am enjoying not riding. When Sunday comes I’ll be rolling over in bed rather than rolling over bleak and dreary winter landscapes. Last year I was rising before the sun to complete lung busting hill intervals or exploring peaceful country lanes and spending up to 9 hours in the saddle (thank you Yorkshire!). This year? Nothing. Or nowt, as they might say up north.
True, it is only January. Yet something is missing. Normally such inactivity would gnaw away at me and I’d find it difficult to look out of the window at a blue sky without feeling guilty. Not this year. I’m just a bit, meh.
Finding the inspiration to ride
I’m easily influenced at the best of times. Even without alcohol. Highly polished, aspirational cycling videos are usually enough to get me out of my slumber. You know the ones. Black and white, layered with gorgeous helicopter shots, slow motion camera work, clever camera angles, flashy editing and the occasional laconic caption, all topped off with background music lifted from some avant-garde ambient experimental soundtrack. Not this year.
I can’t even find the energy to type this blog post and have resorted to producing a few cycling memes because I am hilarious. That, and the fact that drawing lines with crayons is easier than wielding the mighty pen keyboard.
Motivational cycling memes
Social media is awash with awe-inspiring images. They’re typically captioned with inspirational messages plastered over the image with slapdash typography. Saccharine and sickly at the best of times, inspirational cycling memes have the opposite effect on me and more often than not I will attempt to stab myself in the eyes using the nearest broken spoke.
Meme – an adapted definition
noun, from Greek mimēma ‘that which is imitated’
- An element of a culture or system of behaviour passed from one individual to another by imitation or other non-genetic means.
- An image, video, piece of text, etc., typically humorous in nature, that is copied and spread rapidly by Internet users, often with slight variations.
- Annoying, rarely funny.
To balance the overwhelming number of vomit inducing, happy pill cycling memes I’ve taken it upon myself to create a mini-series of anti-inspirational cycling memes. They come suitably accompanied with a hashtag for this social media, meme-tastic age. Take it away #CyclingTruths.
Such memes will hopefully bring you comfort as you sit on your couch when you should be out cycling. There, there, don’t worry. I hear ya. Part one begins with the lead image of this blog post. Join me on Twitter or stay tuned here on your favourite cycling blog for the remainder of the best cycling memes you have ever seen. They’ll be great, that I guarantee. Good perhaps. Ok, let’s say mildly amusing and leave it at that.
The best cycling meme?Meanwhile as you wait for the next instalment of the ever hilarious #CyclingTruths, why not entertain yourself with this trickster’s efforts of taking the cycling meme offline. Exceptional work. A special somebody has hijacked the promotion for the Tour de France in Yorkshire, or Le Tour, or The Grand Depart, or whatever the heck we’re supposed to be calling it.
The original promotion, and henceforth this meme, suitably takes place in a field. Eat pies. That’s pretty much my default option at the best of times, but more so this January as I suffer the Great Cycling Blues™.
Images courtesy of 1) Kinfolk life 2) Unknown via Buzzfeed