Are you mental? Riding off-road on a road bike

Off the map. The tarmac ends just like that. No warning. Mud, gravel and rocks ahead. Behind the ignominy of retreat, of surrender. Time to hit the mud.

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Back to the hills

Back among the stick insects. Hill climb racing. Competitors so thin they almost disappear when viewed in profile. Sleek and minimal, it’s hard to believe a human is crammed inside. Widths and waists measured in millimetres in the pursuit of milliseconds.

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Heat

Sun high. Hot. Not a cloud. The mercury rises and rises, heatwave headline writers twitch. A month earlier snow. Three changes of gloves in three days, goodbye heavy oven gloves, hello flimsy finger-less mitts.

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The inevitable guilt complex

Life, I decided, is more important than cycling. Blasphemy. Treason! Hang him! Lovers who’ve come to terms with their love for one another and other people. We’re not exactly on a break, no. We’re just open to seeing other people. And you know what, I’m enjoying it.

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Today we ride

Ride, roll, spin. Gasp. As if to live I must fight for air. Hunched, knees unnaturally near jaw Not the poise of one who flies. Gloves fingerless So nails can enjoy the view. Drink suckled from teat Nothing odd with that.

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