If Darth Vader cycled… He wouldn’t worry about pollution
If Darth Vader cycled… He would probably benefit from a wind tunnel session
If Darth Vader cycled… He would take ages on toilet breaks but you would most definitely wait
If Darth Vader cycled… He would find your lack of speed disturbing
If Darth Vader cycled… He would struggle drinking from a bidon
If Darth Vader cycled… He wouldn’t look great in Lycra but at least the shorts would be black
If Darth Vader cycled… He would not be a domestique
If Darth Vader cycled… He would not underestimate the power of the peloton
If Darth Vader cycled… He would use chafing cream
If Darth Vader cycled… He would be a time trial specialist
If Darth Vader cycled… He would ride at night
If Darth Vader cycled… He would not shave his legs
If Darth Vader cycled… He would never be told to Harden The Fuck Up
If Darth Vader cycled… He would be impressive. Most impressive.
Human Cyclist 